ThoughtsMorphedtoWords

simply-quotes:

“People fall in love all the time. And it’s not always with the right people. And it’s not always reciprocated.”

—

Sarah Addison Allen, The Peach Keeper

(Source: picturesandquotes.net)

(Source: inspiring-pictures.com)

Why does it have to be complicated? It worked for that moment, if only it could last. The one thing I want most I can’t have. I try to believe there’s hope, but when that moment hasn’t happened yet, it’s hard to keep your head up. I like to say I am a pretty hopeful person. I tend to have high expectations only to be disappointed, even though I tell myself to keep my expectations low. I know it will never be like the movies, but I think they make those kinds of movies so people realize what they should expect and when they finally have it they will feel special. Because in the end doesn’t everyone want to feel special to that special person in every moment. I miss feeling special and I know one day I will again, but laying here alone is not special. It hurts. I feel that there is something wrong with me. I feel that all my flaws are on display for the world to see and I can’t help, but wonder who that next person will be that makes me feel special. There is only one person that has done that for me, and of course it’s complicated and for those moments I wish I could re-live everyday because I have never been so happy with another person than I did during those moments. 

words flowing so many words. I feel like its the part of limitless where the drug is taking action in bradley cooper’s head and his understanding of being able to access all of his brain at once is coming to life. he didn’t believe it and that’s how I feel. I feel that I have been solving my problems and answering my own questions because I see that there is always two sides to ever story and I have realized how I am constantly in catch-22’s but I don’t mean to do it. (of course shockingly i did not like or understand that book or phrase when we read it in high school) i do now. Overthinking, I do it best when I’m alone, or apparently like bradley cooper where I am offered something that may not allow me to access more than “10%” of our brains, but to dig into my subconscious. Another thing that I realized about myself lately is that I keep “having a feeling or gut instinct” like “shit girls say” I know so classic and typical. But it’s true. I predicted/believed that I would act too late and I did, I also thought someone would be away for the weekend and I was right. It maybe is preparing me for something bad that is going to face me whether it deals with how my personal future so I don’t get my hopes up because I know in the back of my head there’s always that maybe or may not happen type of deal. OR it could deal with something more traumatic which would be a lot worse clearly. I just hope that I can face it head on and be able to grow from the experience whatever it may be so I can become an even stronger person than I am today. I have been very insightful in the past couple of hours and it may sound dumb, but feeling this way physically and mentally has made me realize and look at my values and ideas in new ways and other perspectives. It makes me feel like I am going insane cause it makes me think I am accessing different parts of my brain all at once because as I type this I feel that I want to type faster than I actually can or that my brain can spew out the words. The fact that I can look and judge myself from different angles also makes me feel this way. I just don’t know how to feel because I feel like how all of those judgments-from-all-angles are seeing me as, but I don’t think I can feel all of them at once since some contradict or are the solutions of the problems of what a different-angle sees me as. (all I know is that as I write this I feel that this seems like a masterpiece of writing coming from me. But in reality I know I will look at this and be like what was I on when I wrote it, and why did I think that for, of course the millionth time, that I am writing about my feelings and whatever will it finally sound good or the way it was presented didn’t make people think I am a crazy person who “writes the way she talks” but that’s me, so deal) Life is too short to be judged but I can’t be the one to talk since I and the rest of the different-angles just did it to myself for the past couple of hours. But how did limitless end? Do we know? Was he constantly living a life where he was using all of his brain or was he back to living a normal every day 10% brain user day? You tell me…

Gracias por escuchar,

Mary Jane

There are more than one of you. You know who you are. You pull at my heart strings, mess with my mind, and make me feel just a little bit hopeful. The sad thing is you probably don’t even realize. You aren’t there seeing how alone I can be or just when you give me an inch I will want a mile. It is hard to resist the attention I get, but I try and be considerate of your feelings. How is it fair that you can do this to me and make me feel this way? I hate myself for losing my pride and putting you before myself. But I can’t blame you for that, I blame myself, but it seems like that won’t change about me. But I can blame you for pulling at my heart strings, messing with my mind and making me feel just a little bit hopeful…there are more than one of you.

(Source: codeplay, via everything-inspiring)

(Source: inspiring-pictures.com, via everything-inspiring)